Love Yourself

I had a difficult time in the workplace. I'm happy working there, but being happy without real progress is not enough. And to make it worst, suddenly "Negara API" attacking and everything changed in the office.

I have a very clear, discrete plan for my future. I know what I want to be in every five years. I have it in the picture on a paper actually. When my ex-boss saw it, he said, you are so ambitious. Well, how can you face yourself each morning in mediocrity?  I want to be the best, even though I realize it takes time and process. But I need constant progress. 

I started rather slow in my career, you know. Most people started when they were 22 yo. But for me, I spend another two years for a master degree. I started when I was 24 yo. I need to accelerate right now. I can't wait any longer. 

I had my struggles in the past four weeks. I talked previously about the transferring to another department. Hey, I'm not allergic to changes. But this change has zero benefits (in my perspective) for my future career. I should start from the beginning again, without any raise or promotion or whatsoever. 

I'm a fool if I do nothing. 

I'm not saying that I'm that brilliant. But I'm very good at my job, I have all of the degrees and certification you need. I have the attitude. So, I said to myself, nothing is irreplaceable. 

Thank's to God, He knows my heart, my struggles, the pain. He opened the way, in a way that I don't even imagine it first. 

Only in two weeks process, I have another job. With the promotion that I always want, better level, a raise (50%!) and a better health plan. 

Again, glory to the Lord who leads us even in the darkest hours. 

I know, there will be many stories, risks, challenges ahead waiting for me. But hey, that's life!

For every woman out there, never ever give up on yourself. Never ever let yourself be that fool dancing on the strings held by those big shots. Never. Take the control of your life. Fight until you can't breathe anymore. Fight for your life. Because no one, no human being, will love you like you should love yourself. No one will take care of you like you should take care of yourself. 

War

I spent several nights to watch Netflix documentary about the Vietnam War (also called American War). There are 10 episodes, covered around 25 years of the War.

Watched the documentary did really break my heart. I felt sick, devastated, and angry as well.
2 million Vietnamese and 50,000 Americans lost their lives during the war. 1 of 5 Vietnamese was homeless...

Vietnamese wanted their freedom, no matter how expensive the price. And they had every right to think and do so. On the other hand, American could not stand to see the world felt into Communism. They were in cold war against Russia, and the last thing they wanted was that Southeast Asia becoming red at that time.

Vietnamese divided into North and South Vietnam. South Vietnam is backed by the Americans, while North Vietnam is backed by Russia and China.

To summarize, after more than 20 years supported and backed South Vietnam, American pulled out their support. Americans people became weary of the war. Anti-war demonstrations were everywhere. They had enough of the war, and Richard Nixon administration ended their military support.  and after that, on April 1975, South Vietnam Army and Viet Cong successfully defeated South Vietnam and the county was united. I think it is safe to say that aside what ideology finally implemented (which ideology is wrong or right), at the end of the day, the Vietnam people won the war. But then again, the price is too expensive. Too expensive.

In every single war, for resources, for ideology, for whatever reason, the people will pay the highest price. They do not have the power to stand. And most of the time, the government will do everything, including lying, covering, and manipulating to win the war.

Bravery, gallantry, patriotism, sometimes being manipulated to achieve certain elite's interests.

Watched the documentary taught me several things. Firstly, in this mean world (dog-eat-dog world) we cannot be that naive. To be frank, no one will do really think about our goodness, except our own selves. When we were young, we are easily manipulated and used by the 'bigger' people around us. Do not fall into that trap again. Remember always to think and think again, use the brain to think what's right, what's wrong, and speak up. Don't believe something just because some people says so.
Secondly, history is super powerful. It can open our eyes and our conscious. We learn from history so we do not repeat the same mistakes. So spread the history. Use your social media with your brain. Don't spoil it too much for the stupid shallow thing always, spread the message, try to be a good influencer.

We want this world to be a better world. Then we should start with ourselves.

Japan

Do you watch World Cup 2018 in Russia? I have watched world cup since 2002 and it is safe for me to say that World Cup 2018 is the best world cup ever. So many upsets (upset is a term used if the favorite hot team is defeated by the less one) and it's super entertaining.

Well, Amry and I support Japan Team in this world cup, not because we work in Japanese Company, but because we like to support underdog team in the world cup and well, both of us were so impressed during our visit to Japan.

Japan was in the same group with Colombia, Poland, and Senegal. And Japan was the least expected to go through the knockout stage. But this is wonderful about football in a big tournament like the world cup, everyone has a chance to make a surprise win. And Japan did it. Japan and Colombia were the two group to pass to the knockout stage. Unfortunately, they couldn't make it further. They were defeated by Belgium (no 3 in the world) in injury time after led 2-0. Well, I was a bit sad but Amry was devastated (wkwkwkwkw).

I remember, I told him that he shouldn't be sad. He should be proud. Japan is number 61 in FIFA ranking and is able to play with 16 best clubs in knockout phase is already a big achievement. They beat Colombia, draw with Senegal (who has Sadio Mane for god sake), and almost win over Belgium (again No 3 in the world).

Nothing to be ashamed of. They played aggressively and they can go home with their heads up.

Germany received tons of critics after they were beaten by South Korea. They should be embarrassed to went home so early because they have a pedigree team, they have the talent, the European physical, they have last year world cup trophy. And Japan did not have any of them, still, they fought bravely and achieved more than expected.

Sometimes, in life, we do not have so much when we were born. We do not have the best talent, best physical advantage, best resources to be a success in this world. But it should not prevent you to try your best in every competition in your life. Should not prevent you from fought bravely and gallantly. No matter what is the result, make sure that you fight and can face every competition with your heads up.

Perfection

What defines a perfect sunset for you? At the beach with zero clouds?

Well, to be honest, I cannot find another set of example. Sunset at the oceanfront without any clouds hovering is the best I guess. I enjoy the time to see the sun goes down perfectly, it's like the see eats the sun.

But not every time we go to the beach, we can see that perfect sunset. Sometimes there are lots of clouds and we cannot see the sunset. I'm not going to the beach so often so when I go, I hope there are no clouds at all.

Anyway, lately, I enjoyed one sunset with my special one. Well by the definition, it is not a perfect sunset. There were some clouds, but I realized one thing. No matter what situation, as long as you enjoyed it with people who matter the most, everything will be so perfectly balanced and harmonized. Seeing the sunset while holdings hands, then enjoying drinks (a.k.a beers) and the food is one of the most romantic evenings of my life.

By the time, I learn that experience is more valuable than things, but loved ones are above all. 

Si Cantik & Si Galak - Sunset

Dinner with Sunset 

Perfection

When we are upset or angry, we tend to forget how good is someone to us.

I'm not saying that my boyfriend is perfect. No.. He is not and so am I. But in this dog-eat-dog world, I cannot imagine how messed up I will be without him.

He helped me to buy a repeater when my wifi signal is not so good. He's the first one I tell about all of the shitty things in work. He took care of me when I was sick.

But then, when I was upset or angry or super tired, sometimes, I think I take him for granted. Fortunately, after a while, I will realize and say sorry. Of course, it is better to not doing it since the beginning, but late is better than never.

Having a partner in your life is not that essential. But when you have one, make sure that you are grateful and cheer them and treat them as nice as possible.

I'm so grateful to have him in my life. He is not perfect and so am I, but we do have each other.

Kartini

Last month, we celebrated Kartini's day. In Indonesia, Kartini is a symbol of women empowerment. Kartini was born in an era where women were not treated equally. Women are not allowed to receive higher education, cannot work, etc..

Every year, we will celebrate the Kartini's day, and along with the robust growth of social media using among Indonesians, our social media feed will be filled with many women quoted Kartini's statement, wearing kebaya and declare themselves as Kartini, or declare their mother or acquaintances as Kartini. In TV and radio, we will also hear people quoted some women as Kartini. 

And for these past two years, I will ask the exact same question to my boyfriend, "On what ground these women acknowledge themselves or their family or their friends as modern Kartini?"

Just because you are a woman, it doesn't make you automatically entitled to be "modern Kartini".

Just because a woman wearing a Kebaya, it doesn't make her automatically entitled to be "modern Kartini".

Just because your mother is nice to you and gave birth to you, it doesn't make her automatically entitled to be "modern Kartini".

Kartini is a woman who thinks ahead than her generation at that time. At her time, most of the women will think that it's completely OK and acceptable to get married as soon as possible without receive education or having a career. Their only goal is to serve their husband and be a good mother. 

Kartini cannot just accept the traditions or culture that restrain her right to study or to work. And only for her, but for all of Indonesia women. And she did something about it.

A woman who deserves to be called "modern Kartini" is not a woman with Kebaya or woman who is nice to her kids. Every other woman in Kartini's era also wear Kebaya and is a good mother, but they are not Kartini. They just ordinary women who never made any significant thing for women empowerment. 

"Modern Kartini" is a woman who (again) think ahead of her generations. Who is independent and can think and act for herself. Who realize that even today there are still so many discrimination (including in working place and in the society) and abusing to Indonesia women. Who acts and give her voice to that matter. 

That is a modern Kartini. 

Meet up the parents

So.. next week, I will meet his parents. For the first time in almost three years we are having this relationship.

I’m a bit nervous. I want his family to like me. Of course. He likes his family, I like him, so I need his family to like me.

It’s a bit stupid. I’m nervous about what I’m going to wear, how if they do not like me..

Several times, I said to him and to myself. Why am I so panic. I love him so much and I care about him sincerely. I’m highly educated, from good family. Nothing to worry. But still.

Well, let’s see how it turns out. Hopefully they will like me!