Independent Woman

In my office, there is this guy who seemed to like my friend very much. Unfortunately, his feeling is not reciprocated. My friend didn't say it out loud to everyone, but she said it once to me that this guy is not in her level. She is beautiful (very much) and comes from a wealthy background. On the other hand, I do try to put this in a very good way, his appearance is just medium, he is a staff (lower rank than her), he just doesn't show a classy style, and he is a widow with two kids. So you guys can judge my friend or judge me, but she is just being realistic. She cannot like him, and I understand. 

One day my boyfriend asked me, hypothetically, if he is not a staff, if he is a general manager, will you date him? It is a very random question. But I still answer it and I remember exactly my answer.I said to him, no I will not. And it's simply because he is not my type (not tall, not sophisticated, and not smart enough for me). There is no correlation with his position in the office or his money. Even though he is the CEO, I will not like him because his style. I like a smart, sophisticated, and tall gentleman. Just like my boyfriend (wkwkwkwkwkkw).

Well, I said to my boyfriend, position or amount of salary is not a very important parameter for me in choosing a guy. Of course to be realistic I want a guy with vision and good job. But it's not very important, because if it is about money, I think I can take care my self. No need a man for money. 

In almost two and half years relationship with my boyfriend, I rarely asked him to buy me something. If he offered me to buy a present, I will refuse it, except for my birthday of course.

Why? It is not because he is a very cheap skate. It's because my own principle. That both of us healthy and capable to work, and he doesn't have any responsibility to pay anything or buy anything for me.

I want our relationship is working equally. Nobody is lower. But how can I expect him to treat me equally, if I asked him to pay my dinner or buy my clothes or my shoes. Naturally, he will not treat me equally of course, not because he is a bad guy who does not respect woman, but simply because he is a human being. Simple logic behind this conclusion is our parents. They treat us with full authority when we was kid because they pay everything for us. Because they pay the house we sheltered in, pay the clothes, pay the meals.

Do I want my boyfriend (my future husband) to treat me that way. No, because it is not 19th century anymore.

So, we always split the bills; dinner, lunch, grocery shopping, everything. He still buy my birthday present and take me to dinner on Valentine days or when he win a bet with his friend. But that's all od it. I'm not allowed it to have a mind set that my boyfriend should pay for dinner, taxi, or any other stuff.
I want him to see me as this strong independent woman who can take care myself. And most important, I want to see myself as that woman.

I love him very much, and I respect him. And I want him to respect me as natural as it is possible.

Being independent is not easy. But by doing that you earn you honor and your pride and your dignity. Be a strong woman. And that is totally worth it.