Kamis, 23 November 2017

Know When You Should Shut Up!

You know, when you feel so upset to your partner, the best thing that you can do is to communicate it properly.

But, sometimes, there are some moment when you think, well, it's better left unsaid.

After getting together for two years, I think my bf and I have experienced so many fights together. And some of the stupidest fight comes from we tried to communicate everything. What a contradiction.

For example, I asked my bf to help me copy some photos from my trip to Australia. I cannot do that by myself because my laptop cannot read the memory card and his can. So I asked him.
You know what makes me "extremely upset over super silly small thing" is that after I asked him for days, he still sometimes forget and just do not do it correctly. It makes me a bit frustrated.

You've already asked nicely, but how if he keeps forgetting. You cannot communicate it properly again, correct? You just getting super upset and the only thing that you want to do is start accusing and yelling.

But in a relationship, of course a healthy loving relationship, you cannot keep doing that.Then you realized and again you implement "something is better left unsaid".
Because after some amount of times being together, you know that you should pick up your fight. You cannot bring everything, every small small thing that makes you feel upset into a fight. Cannot. We should pick matter things. So again, something is better left unsaid.

I do not know, I felt seriously upset to him last night. It's like why dont you do it just properly. It's only small favor.

But then, I tried to keep it down, and just forget it. Trying to understand, that well most of guys will do the same exact thing, "forgetting". We asked them to do something, then he says "later", then he actually totally forgot.

My bf is a nice decent guy. He never hurt me physically or cheating on me. He takes care of me and help my work sometimes. And let's face it, he is my best friend right now. Someone I share everything.

So he just forget small thing, and compared to what he did to me so far, it doesn't matter.

In a relationship, good communication is everything, but good communication doesn't mean you should tell everything in your head, even to the closest person. Nah. Sometimes, "better left unsaid" is a great thing that you can do in your relationship.

Jumat, 10 November 2017

Getting Older

Yesterday, I have dinner with my bf and we started to discuss his coming-soon-birthday next month. Then we were joking about his age, well 32 years old sounds very old to me. He said while laughing that this December he wants to stay 31.

Then suddenly, out of nowhere, I said, well if you will turn into 33 yo next year, then I will be 27 yo.
Suddenly I felt a bit sad. It's like, nooo, I'm getting older. Not so young anymore.

I'm thinking, what is my accomplishment so far. 
Compared to my original plan about what my life should be, I feel that my achievement is still not good enough. I'm still quite poor (compared to my plan in 26 yo with background having bachelor degree and master degree from ITB), I'm still living in a Kos..
Well, of course there are some good things too along the way. I went to Japan for working experience (it was awesome!). I went to Australia for pleasure (with my own pocket money). And to Singapore, Malaysia, and Thailand also as well during two years. Yes it is awesome, as a child from middle class family background who even didn't have passport till 24 years old. But it's still far from my target.

Then I'm thinking, how about physical appearance.
Even though I know how superficial to think about appearance, but still, as a woman, it matters for me. Cannot capture the image of me with different skin and hair (which of course tend to not as good as when I'm younger.

I know that I act a bit dramatic (and I resent myself to be those kind of stupid drama queen), but gosh, little part of me really want to stop this train for a while. Can I stay 26 yo, like forever, or maybe a bit longer..

It's stupid. And lame as well.

After went home and took a bath, I started to think about it again, but then I realized (again), how stupid and lame that wish (to stay younger longer).
Getting old is something natural. It's healthy. It's a part to getting abundant experiences in this short life.
I will not be able to grab all of those knowledge, all of those experiences, all of those wisdom (that you can only acquired by getting old), if you stay younger and ask the time to stop ticking.
I will stay stupid and reckless.
By getting old, you know, as long as you live in right track of course, you will earn respect as well.

Experiences, knowledge, wisdom, respect, and if you are lucky enough, you get more power as well when you are getting older gracefully.

Getting older is not so terrifying, if you live your life with the best effort. It should be good.
Of course there might be some bumps along the way, but again, as long as you are always aware, be careful, and do good things when you grow up, getting old should not be so bad. It's nice actually.

Maybe.