Stop "Victim Blaming" culture!

The idea of blaming sexual abuse or harassment on the way women dressing is one of the most disgusted  thing I've heard personally.

What a stereotypical and dangerous excuse!
And what make me even sadder is because the one who said that kind of thing is my girlfriend. A woman! How sad!

We discuss about a sexual harassment in the news and she said, well maybe the woman wear something provocative. Well I'm very surprised. She is quite well educated and in her 20's. On what ground she thinks like that.

And you know, maybe, most of the women in Indonesia still thinking that way. Every time a man harass them, for example verbally, they will question they way they dressing and then blame themselves for that "pig" action (let's call a man who do sexual harassment as a pig, because basically they are pigs).

Women should be able to wear anything they like. And if men do sexual harassment to women,  basically it because those men's brain is dirty just like shit. No any other excuse. Period.

And as women, we never blame other women (as victim) in any cases of sexual abuse or harassment. We should support each other and teach our children, boys and girls, to respect each other.
Boys to respect women, to never treat them as sexual objects and have some self control.
And girls, to respect men as well as human being,

Victim blaming is as worst as the crime itself

Bondi Beach

First time I heard about this one of the most famous beach in Sydney is from Modern Family.
I remember I started to laugh of loud when heard Luke told Manny that he does really want to go to that topless beach. Yes guys, Bondi beach is a topless beach. Means, in there, it is totally OK if you want to half naked in the upper part of your body.

So when I have an opportunity to go to Sydney, I said to my friend, we do really have to go to Bondi beach, let's see how topless beach looks like.

Well..
It's definitely far from our expectation. That day is a beginning of Autumn season, and the temperature is quite low (around 14 degrees) to go topless. So, no one is topless. In fact, there are only several people in the beach.

Despite the situation, actually we have the most fun in that beach. The beach itself is very beautiful. The sky is super amazing. The water color is a combination of blue and green, but it was super freezing. In the left sight, there are several house on top of the hill, so beautiful.

Bondi beach, Sydney

You know, most of Indonesian (if it is not all) always saying that Indonesia (Bali, Lombok, etc., etc.) has the best beach in the world. But I do not know, I mean look at that color. It's so beautiful.

I think, Sydney has taken my heart. How beautiful. I hope one day my bf and I can visit Sydney again.

Australia is just so beautiful in a very exotic way.

Bondi beach, Sydney

To adapt is to survive

Last week I received a news from my boss, that there will be major changes in my workplace.

My first reaction is a bit sad. Nobody likes changes, especially if it changes something that you already comfortable with/like with.
So my first reaction lasted for the whole night. But after that my first reaction turned into my second reaction, afraid.

The changes will be implemented around Feb/March.
Well, I'm afraid that the changes will afflicted my work in a negative way.
 I'm afraid that "the changes" will not like me or not suitable with me.

Being afraid is a common thing. Everyone feels afraid anytime and in any condition. We are afraid for many things in life. And being afraid for some certain level actually is good. Being afraid makes you keep aware of something, makes you calculate every moves and every consequences.
The most important things is how you handle "the afraid". What action do you take to conquer the scare of changes, adapt to it, and turn it into opportunities.

Adapt..
Ability to adapt to the changes is always a key of survival. It's not the strongest creature who will survive, but the most adapted one. Take one simple example, T-rex is like the strongest creature in the earth on their era, but eventually they have to face extinction because they cannot adapt to the environment changes. On the other hand, most of insect are adaptive into the changes in environment, and they lasted through so many ages in this earth.

So the big question mark is, will I adapt into the changes and survive?
I do not have the luxury to choose yet. I do not have any job offering yet and do not have any plan to change my job yet. So I have to adapt, no matter what.

Well, after thinking for some amount of times, I started to realize that if I see it in different perspective, I will understand that actually the changes that I should face next month is not that bad. It is a perfect time to test me, an opportunity for me to demonstrate my strength to adapt, to survive. 

Let's see what will happen, and do the best to adapt. It's a basic ability that we should have to survive.

I Love Me

When someone talked about loving their own selves, many of them talked about self-esteem, about do not put too much thoughts about anyone else. But for me, loving myself can be started by a very practical way, keep your body healthy.

I'm not an expert in this healthy thing, but I will share some habits I started developed since last year.

1.  Instead of drinking hot sweet tea to kick my morning ritual, I'm only drinking hot Japanese Green Tea (sencha) without any additives. 
When I was in Japan, I noticed one interesting thing, they never put sugar in their tea. While in Indonesia, everyone used to put one or two tablespoons of sugar into their tea, Japanese never do that. While in Indonesia, you can find so many labeled processed sweet tea, in Japan, you can only find bitter ocha. No sugar at all. So for three months in Japan, I have never even once drink any sweet tea. And thanks God, that habit keep continuing until today, except for Saturday when I have a date, I will order one glass of sweet iced tea.

Every morning, I will drink good Japanese Green Tea (sencha). You can find it easily in the nearby supermarket. It's a bit pricey (IDR 124k for 80 grams good quality sencha), but let's face it, it has abundant good benefit for your health, and your skin.
You can also choose oolong tea of course, it is much cheaper than Japanese Sencha. But, personally I like sencha taste better

Japanese Sencha as my morning ritual

2. Instead of eating nasi uduk or buryam for breakfast, I'm only eating whole grain cereals and milk, or whole grain breads
Breakfast is very important, but I think Indonesians used to eat to much carbo in their breakfast menu. Buryam, nasduk, nasi kuning, nasi goreng. Those are usual Indonesian breakfast. Change it into more healthy menu, either it is whole grain food or fruit, choose it, just don't eat to much rice!

3. Go to the gym!
I go to the gym twice a week (at least). I take dance class and pilates.
I think, nowadays, going to the gym for middle-class society in Indonesia is very common. Just go! 400k a month and 120 minutes/week is nothing compared to the benefit you will get.
You will be healthy and skinny as well!

By doing those small things, you will be much healthier and that's how you said you love yourself.

To live our lives to the fullest

“There is more in you of good than you know, child of the kindly West. Some courage and some wisdom, blended in measure. If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.”
J.R.R. Tolkien - The Hobbit 

I wish by time, I can be more brave, have more courages. To be more adventurous. To learn more. To be wiser.

To value food, cheer, song, or any other thing which enriches our life and experience above money.

And I wish, if I have a child someday, I will teach he/she those value.

To be brave, to be wise, to be smart, to be kind, to be honest, to live our lives to the fullest.

P.S. I have "The Hobbit" book, if you want to borrow it, please feel free to contact me. Will not regret it to read it. 

When people said that you are far too competitive. Always wants to win and be the best.

Well, that's who I am. I love winning. I'm not afraid with the competition.

It's too bad, if you cannot stand it.

I'm not going to the office everyday to look for friends.
I work for one goal, to get the power, to achieve number one position one day.

As long as you are fair. Not taking advantage in illegitimate ways, nothing's wrong by being competitive and passionate about your job.                                                 

What a Mother!

In one interview with David Letterman, Barrack Obama said that when he lived in Indonesia for six year, his mother will wake him up at 5 am and teach him for one day curriculum lesson. She did that because she's worried of the Indonesia's education quality (which she is correct one hundred percent).

Barrack Obama said that at that time, when he was 6 years old, he will feel extremely upset to his mother. He hated it when he should started learning from 5 am then after that still have to go to school. But now, after he's being so successful, studied in Harvard, being the most powerful man in the world, he understand how valuable the time that her mother spent to teach him.

Being a good mother have a lot of dimensions. That means you have to 'be there' for your children when they grow up. Means you have provide them with security, with love, all of the loves in the world. But one important thing that I learned when I watch the interview, is that being a good mother means you give the best education to your children. Some children can be success of course, even without a mother who try real hard to teach them. But imagine, if a child has that golden opportunity, to have a mother who believes in education.

You know, if I'm that lucky to be a mother someday, I hope I can do the same thing. Teach my children how important the education is. That in this world, with its fierce and cruel competition to survive, education is one extremely useful weapon that you must have. And one day, they will say, yes my mother worked very hard to make sure that I'm being a well educated person.

Good men/ Good women (?)

Last night, my bf told me how he has a little argument with his friends about how to be a good man.

Some people said that being a good man simply means you're being a good father and good husband, provide for your family in a good manner. Of course it is correct for married man, for a father generally. I hate lousy, irresponsible father who knows how to 'make the children' but do not have any idea about how to raise them.

And for woman, I heard some people said that a woman is not a woman yet before raising a child.

Yes, yes, those are good roles for both women and men. But, but.. How if we do not married yet, if we do not have kids yet to raise. Is it make us less good?

Unfortunately, in this (shitty (?)) country, most of the people think like that.

How naive and superficial thinking.

I'm not opposing marriage. I want to get married, someday, in the future. But if I cannot get marriage right now (I'm 26 yo fyi), or my boyfriend (he's 3x fyi) doesn't  want to get married right now, it doesn't make us a bunch of failed people.

No.

Jesus didn't get married. St. Paul, St. John, didn't get married. Mother Theresa as well.

They didn't get married, and should we call them not good men/good women?
They are much better, 100 times better than many married people having 10 kids but their life is useless as fuck and never contribute to society.

Married or not married. Having child or childless. It's not a proper parameter to determine whether someone is good or not. Whether they are success or not.

Living with a good purpose (vision) to be useful for someone else in this shitty world, that makes us a good wonderful person. Trying everyday to be less self-centered, to share what we have to other people (whether it is our family, our kids, or somebody we do not know), that makes us a good wonderful person.

I hope people will stop defining what good person means by the 'marriage/having kids' criteria.
No, it is wrong.

I refuse to getting married, if I'm not fully ready, if I know that I cannot be a good mother to my kids.
It's better to take our time, take it slowly, and learn.

I respect my boyfriend's decision as well. I never ask him about marriage stuff. Because I know where he stands right now. He is not ready, and asking him constantly doesn't make him more ready. If we are getting married now, I mean today, we can assure that we will be terrible partners and then definitely will be terrible parents.

I think, it's time for us to give more respect to other people's choices in their lives.
Stop making judgement about other people's business.
Nobody should gives too much damn about how we have to live it.

Those fond memories that can cause the blood rushed into my head

Yesterday, two of my girlfriends asked me to go to Japan again.

Thinking about visiting Japan again, it's like there is blood rush into my head.
I always (literally and figuratively) feel warm when I'm thinking about Japan. There are so many fond memories about that place.

It's a place when my bf came for me. Where I can feel that he genuinely cares and misses me, then he comes to meet me.

Fushimi Inari, Kyoto, Japan

It's a place where I feel proud of myself, my work achievement. When I can show off, about my works, my knowledge.

A place where I found many new Japanese friends. People that until today still keeping in touch with me.

And the most important thing, a first place that make me can say, I'm alone but not lonely.
I'm always being so spoiled. You can ask my bf. He mentioned it regularly. He will said that I look like a kitty. Always want to be spoiled. I do not want him to be far, it makes me feel lonely.
But in Japan, all of that loneliness that I constantly feel in Indonesia, can disappear by time.
I can really breathe. I can feel my self, top to toe. Be aware one hundred percent. Every corners in Japan makes me feel excited. And I do not have any problem to go travelling across Japan only by myself.

You know, my bf even said that in Japan, I gave less complaints. I looked happier and more brave than before.
My boss said that after back from Japan, my confidence level increases.

Then when my girlfriends asked me to go to Japan again, I feel the blood rushed into my head.

But, can I go back to Japan (not for working anymore, but for leisure) while I just went there in October last year.

There's this feeling, that rushed feeling encourage me to say yes, I want to go again!

But then, this logic feeling (also my bf said the same thing), that it's very impulsive and a bit reckless to go abroad for vacation to the same countries when you just went there 4 months ago. It takes a lot of money to go abroad.

So I informed my friends that I cannot go this year.

So I informed my bf that the decision makes me feel sad. I do really want to go.

He said, someday we will back again. We will. Walk all of those fond and warm memories in my heart. Go to see Fuji-san again. Go to Hatagaya again to see my old apartment. Go to Kamakura again. We will.

Kyoto, Japan

Gods Must be Crazy

Gods must be crazy, aren't they?

Well, last night I watched "God Must be Crazy" movie in Netflix. It's kind of surprising me to see that movie in Netflix catalogue.When I was a kid, I used to watch this movie on TV. Not only one time, but maybe three or four times.

So after I do not know, maybe 7 or 8 years, I watched the movie again last night.
And the movie still made me laugh, big times.Still super funny. And you know what, I realized one thing that I missed when I was a kid, the script is very very good. The dialogue is far from corny. Quite clever dialogues I guess.

My favorite lines are in the beginning of the movie :

"Civilized man refused to adapt himself to his environment; instead, he adapted his environment to suit him. So he built cities, roads, vehicles, machinery, and he put up power lines to run his labor-saving devices. But somehow he didn't know where to stop. The more he improved his surroundings to make life easier, the more complicated he made it. So now his children are sentenced to 10-15 years of school, just to learn how to survive in this complex and hazardous habitat they were born into. And civilized man, who refused to adapt to his surroundings, now finds he has to adapt and re-adapt every hour of the day to his self-created environment."

Damn! It's so deep and true (for some points) as well.

How can we missed that point? I never realize it until yesterday.

We, who called ourselves as modernized, complex, 'so-number-one' creature in this universe, do refuse to adapt to our environment.
Of course, all of that civilization and modernization is essential and good. Health improvements, lower death rate caused by child birth, technology, you name it.

But when we did the civilization and modernization, we refused to think a bit harder about our environment, our surroundings. We didn't want to 'adapt' with them. We built our buildings, our roads, and all of those things, but when we did that we do not care if we have to ruin the environment, if we have to hurt other creatures. 

Animals didn't responsible for the global warming. They didn't responsible for their extinction.
Plants and trees didn't responsible to their own extinction. Nope.
We, human, are fully responsible.
We did deforestation, we are responsible to all of those pollution in this world. We did hunting, fishing, mining with our greedy heart.

We refuse to adapt with the nature. Human are just so self-centered. We want the nature to adapt to us, to our need. Unfortunately nature does not work that way.

Then, we also keep pushing ourselves, our children to live in a stressful environment that we created. Some people lost their appetite to enjoy things. We are too stress since very young age.

Well, if the Bushmen think that those civilized & modernized human being as the Gods in that movie. Then they are right one hundred percents. The Gods must be crazy!