Know When You Should Shut Up!

You know, when you feel so upset to your partner, the best thing that you can do is to communicate it properly.

But, sometimes, there are some moment when you think, well, it's better left unsaid.

After getting together for two years, I think my bf and I have experienced so many fights together. And some of the stupidest fight comes from we tried to communicate everything. What a contradiction.

For example, I asked my bf to help me copy some photos from my trip to Australia. I cannot do that by myself because my laptop cannot read the memory card and his can. So I asked him.
You know what makes me "extremely upset over super silly small thing" is that after I asked him for days, he still sometimes forget and just do not do it correctly. It makes me a bit frustrated.

You've already asked nicely, but how if he keeps forgetting. You cannot communicate it properly again, correct? You just getting super upset and the only thing that you want to do is start accusing and yelling.

But in a relationship, of course a healthy loving relationship, you cannot keep doing that.Then you realized and again you implement "something is better left unsaid".
Because after some amount of times being together, you know that you should pick up your fight. You cannot bring everything, every small small thing that makes you feel upset into a fight. Cannot. We should pick matter things. So again, something is better left unsaid.

I do not know, I felt seriously upset to him last night. It's like why dont you do it just properly. It's only small favor.

But then, I tried to keep it down, and just forget it. Trying to understand, that well most of guys will do the same exact thing, "forgetting". We asked them to do something, then he says "later", then he actually totally forgot.

My bf is a nice decent guy. He never hurt me physically or cheating on me. He takes care of me and help my work sometimes. And let's face it, he is my best friend right now. Someone I share everything.

So he just forget small thing, and compared to what he did to me so far, it doesn't matter.

In a relationship, good communication is everything, but good communication doesn't mean you should tell everything in your head, even to the closest person. Nah. Sometimes, "better left unsaid" is a great thing that you can do in your relationship.

Getting Older

Yesterday, I have dinner with my bf and we started to discuss his coming-soon-birthday next month. Then we were joking about his age, well 32 years old sounds very old to me. He said while laughing that this December he wants to stay 31.

Then suddenly, out of nowhere, I said, well if you will turn into 33 yo next year, then I will be 27 yo.
Suddenly I felt a bit sad. It's like, nooo, I'm getting older. Not so young anymore.

I'm thinking, what is my accomplishment so far. 
Compared to my original plan about what my life should be, I feel that my achievement is still not good enough. I'm still quite poor (compared to my plan in 26 yo with background having bachelor degree and master degree from ITB), I'm still living in a Kos..
Well, of course there are some good things too along the way. I went to Japan for working experience (it was awesome!). I went to Australia for pleasure (with my own pocket money). And to Singapore, Malaysia, and Thailand also as well during two years. Yes it is awesome, as a child from middle class family background who even didn't have passport till 24 years old. But it's still far from my target.

Then I'm thinking, how about physical appearance.
Even though I know how superficial to think about appearance, but still, as a woman, it matters for me. Cannot capture the image of me with different skin and hair (which of course tend to not as good as when I'm younger.

I know that I act a bit dramatic (and I resent myself to be those kind of stupid drama queen), but gosh, little part of me really want to stop this train for a while. Can I stay 26 yo, like forever, or maybe a bit longer..

It's stupid. And lame as well.

After went home and took a bath, I started to think about it again, but then I realized (again), how stupid and lame that wish (to stay younger longer).
Getting old is something natural. It's healthy. It's a part to getting abundant experiences in this short life.
I will not be able to grab all of those knowledge, all of those experiences, all of those wisdom (that you can only acquired by getting old), if you stay younger and ask the time to stop ticking.
I will stay stupid and reckless.
By getting old, you know, as long as you live in right track of course, you will earn respect as well.

Experiences, knowledge, wisdom, respect, and if you are lucky enough, you get more power as well when you are getting older gracefully.

Getting older is not so terrifying, if you live your life with the best effort. It should be good.
Of course there might be some bumps along the way, but again, as long as you are always aware, be careful, and do good things when you grow up, getting old should not be so bad. It's nice actually.

Maybe.

Talk Less than Necessary

I always love talking. It is fun way to release all of the stress (for me).
But you know, in my 26 years living experience, I started to learn that talking too much is just stupid and dangerous.

History speaking, successful leader never speak too much. They know how to keep it for themselves. You can always be free with your mind. Think anything you want about whatever you like, but always limit yourselves to speak. Because first, once you talked about something, it will never be able to taken back. And second, what is the advantage to let people get inside your head and know your thoughts.

I started to apply this into my life. Don't let people to know what you do really think. Just say enough, even less than necessary. Don't let people use your own words against you.

Living Overseas

I'm so lucky to get a chance to work abroad for the very first time. My company sends me to work in Tokyo for three months. It was a great experience for me, when I go back to Indonesia, I feel and think differently.

My bf (who had overseas working experience earlier than me), always says that going overseas for some amount of time will definitely change you. You will be able to compare a lot of things with the way you used to live in Indonesia.

I think that statement is almost 100% true. Of course for some narrow-minded people, it's not going to happen. But if you're willing to open your mind, you'll understand what I mean.

In Tokyo (one of the best cities in the world for Human Living Index), even though I live alone, but I can tell that I have the best fun. Every weekend I will go (only by myself!) to Mount Fuji and Lake surrounding it, or go to numerous fabulous gardens all around Tokyo, I even go to Yokohama, Chiba, Saitama, hike Mount Takao, etc. I enjoyed the cultural performance such as Kabuki and Japanese Tea Ceremony. In the evening after working hours, I go to nearby cake store and take a good strolling in Shinjuku.
For the first time, I do not feel so lonely, even though I live alone. I feel inner peace every time I see the gardens or the lakes. It soothe me.
I also learned that living quality in Japan is much higher than Indonesia. They have better air, water, environment, and surprisingly very safe for woman.

Unlike in Indonesia, which usually my bf frequently commented that I'm a bit spoiled, in Japan, I learned to be tough and brave, do everything by myself and feel happy.
Learn to not let sorrow and loneliness hurt me.

I miss Japan for sure, but I feel glad to say yes when my boss asked me to go (in the first place, I felt really nervous about living alone).
I get a lot of things, not only experiences, improved skills, and new knowledge, but I also strengthen my soul, learn to find the balance in my life, and the most important thing, learn to enjoy most of my time.

Poligami dan Si Abang

Recently, sering banget dengar kasus poligami yang menuai drama dan kontroversi.
Terus pas lagi skype tadi malam sama si Abang, iseng-iseng nanya. "Bang, kalau misalkan poligami itu adalah option yang terbuka, Abang mau ga poligami?". Dengan malas-malasan pacar aing yg kadang aneh ini menjawab, "Jangankan poligami, punya satu istri aja aku gamau."

You know, for these almost two years we have been together, never even once I asked question about married. Because my principle is clear, I do not see any point to ask something that I already knew the answer. Well, I responded his answer by laughing quite loud that night.

If being married soon is my expectation from our relationship, this so called relationship between us will never exist from the beginning. I know you quite well.

I can wait for another several years and enjoyed every second in this relationship. So let's see what will happen later!

Theft in Japan!!! (?)

Almost everyone that I told this story didn't believe it.
My wallet was stolen in Kyoto last week. In the bus from Kinkakuji Temple to the Marounichi Station. I lost more than two millions rupiah in cash, my two credit cards, my debit card, my KTP, and my insurance card.

My colleagues in Tokyo office cannot believe that somebody steal my wallet. Japan is a very safe country. Even the gangster, Yakuz*, do not do petty crime like that. They do not steal you wallet in the bus, train, or street. Most of Japanese will bring the unidentified wallet to the nearest police station.

But it still happened anyway. Either another tourist in that bus or the local one took my money, I do not know until today.

Even though my insurance will pay the losses (thanks God I have travel insurance), but still I have to put so much energy to submit the documents, etc. In addition, I have to block my credit cards and debit cards. I cannot pay some bills for a while. I lost my KTP, and I have to take one day off at least to issue new KTP.  Whoever steal that wallet, I cannot understand what's in his/her mind. If my boyfriend didn't visit me last week, I cannot even buy Shinkansen ticket to go back to Tokyo. I will not have money for buying food or to pay the train for several weeks. How come that bastard can do those kind of things, I do not know.

I hope he/she get stomachache for  seven months straight for the crime he did to foreigner.

Anyway, from this accident, I still can learn several things. First, if you have to travel, especially to another country, you must buy travel insurance. Even though the claim process is not easy sometimes and can be headache. But still, it's better to know that you can get replacement for your losses (even partial replacement is still much better than nothing).
Second, never put all of your eggs in one basket. Never. Distribute your money always. Keep some money in your wallet, some in your bag, some in your apartment/hotel. Always have emergency money, at least to call somebody if something unexpected happens.
Last but not least, wherever you travel, never trust anyone. You will never know. Even in this country, which can be defined as one of safest place in the planet, unexpected thing can always be happen. So stay alert and never trust anyone!

Mengurus Visa ke Aussie - Ternyata Mudah

Bulan Desember tahun lalu, saya dan kedua teman kuliah saya memutuskan untuk pergi jalan-jalan bersama. Kami sepakat bahwa destinasinya harus banget yang seru dan beda. Akhirnya kami memutuskan untuk pergi ke Australia. Setelah googling-googling tiket pesawat murah, akhirnya kami memutuskan untuk pergi ke Sydney dan Melbourne pada bulan May 2017, menggunakan pesawat low carrier cost yang warnanya merah itu.

Setelah menabung selama 5 bulan lebih, dan setelah mempersiapkan tiket pesawat, hotel, dsb, akhirnya kami pergi mengurus visa.
To be honest, ini adalah pengalaman visa yang pertama untuk kami bertiga. Sebelumnya kami memang sudah pernah pergi ke luar negri, tapi belum pernah ada yg harus sampai mengurus visa.
Sebelumnya kami sudah mendatangi gedung AVAC di Kuningan City, Jakarta Selatan. AVAC (Australia Visa Application Center) adalah satu-satunya perwakilan Australia dalam pengurusan visa di Indonesia. Karna niat kami hanya untuk melancong di negri Kangguru tersebut, kami disarankan untuk mengurus visa Subclass 600. Kami pun mendapatkan list persyaratan dokumen yang harus dilampirkan saat mengurus visa, diantaranya :
1. Fotokopi Passport (yang lama juga harus dilampirkan)
2. Fotokopi KTP dan KK
3. Formulir pendaftaran yang bisa didownload di website yang sudah diisi dan dilengkapi foto
4. Bukti Keuangan selama 3 bulan (Bank Statement)
5. Surat Keterangan Kerja,
selain itu bila ada, bisa melampirkan bukti booking pesawat terbang, booking hotel, dan travel insurance. Ketiga hal tersebut sebenarnya ga wajib, malah lebih bagus tidak perlu membeli dulu tiket pesawat. Nanti kalau ditolak rugi banget kan, soalnya tiket ke Sydney lumayan mahal (paling murah kita dapat sekitar 2.5 juta, itupun belum pake bagasi).
Cuman, karna kami bertiga sama sekali ga punya pengalaman di bidang pervisaan dan ga kepikiran, yang penting ada tiket murah kita beli dulu. Kita akhirnya melampirkan juga tiket pesawat bolak balik (Jakarta - Sydney, Sydney - Melbourne, dan Melbourne - Jakarta). Plus bookingan hotel Ibis Budget yang keburu sudah kami bayar.

Sebelum mengurus visa, kami pun sempat googling-gooling mengenai pengurusan visa Australia ini. Setelah googling yang ada malah jadi pusing dan kesal. Rasanya, rata-rata blog yang nulis soal pengurusan visa ke Australia ini bilangnya kalau visa ke Aussie itu ribet, mahal, sering ga dapat, dsb.
Kami pun jadi agak panik, udah beli tiket pesawat dan hotel, sedih banget kalau semua tabungan kami yang gajinya masih pas-pas an ini ludes begitu saja tanpa dapat visa.
Belum lagi harga visanya sendiri mahal banget, 135 AUD belum pake biaya lain-lain seperti biaya sms, dsb.

Makin banyak googling, makin baper. Akhirnya kami berhenti googling, dan stick sama persyaratan yang diberikan langsung oleh AVAC.
Oh iya, sebelum kelupaan, di google juga banyak banget beredar cerita-cerita soal bukti keuangan yang lebay banget, katanya kalau isi rekeningnya kurang dari 100 juta, ga akan diterima visanya. Boro-boro ada 100 juta, 50 juta aja tabungan saya ga nyampe. Setelah berhemat dan mengumpulkan uang dengan segala daya upaya, setelah beli tiket pesawat dan hotel, tabungan saya cuman terkumpul sekitar 35 jutaan. Amaze juga sih, soalnya nabungnya cuman 5 bulan, sama minjem dikit sama mas pacar hehehehehehe.

Akhirnya pada tanggal 4 April (dengan asumsi ngurus visa itu butuh satu bulan penuh), kami datang ke AVAC dan membawa seluruh persyaratan yang diperlukan. Sebagai tambahan, saya juga melengkapi dengan slip gaji dari kantor saya selama tiga bulan terakhir, plus kartu nama, dan kartu kantor. Tidak lupa travel insurance juga saya lampirkan. Saya pikir harus pol deh ngurus visanya. Mahal soalnya.

Kami pun diterima di gedung AVAC, dan setelah sekitar 3 jam proses pengurusan, yang mana didalamnya sama sekali ga ribet dan ga pake wawancara, kami pun menyerahkan berkas dan membayar biaya visa.

Deg-deg an, tinggal nunggu hasil visanya. Jadi kepikiran, kalau bener ga diterima visanya, lenyapnya 10 juta yang dipake buat booking tiket pesawat dan hotel. Bonus dana pendidikan gw dari kantor :(

Tiba-tiba tanggal 6 May (hanya selang dua hari), saya dapet email dari imigrasi.
Jeng-jeng isinya :


Yeay visanya diterimaaa!!!!!!

Cuman perlu waktu dua hari udah langsung dapar visanya!
Ternyata cerita seram orang-orang yang pada gagal visa itu ga terlalu terbukti kok. Memang perlu diakui kalau harga pengurusan visanya mahal banget. Banget. Padahal orang Australia bolak-balik ke Indonesia bebas visa loh (CMIW). Mahal banget deh pokoknya.

Tapi yang katanya ngurusnya ribet atau impossible to get, ini salah banget. Ngurusnya ga seribet itu kok, standar pengurusan visa lah. Dan ga sesusah itu juga. Tabungan saya ga sebanyak itu juga.
Menurut saya, yang penting dokumennya semua lengkap. Dan yang paling penting, lampirkan surat keterangan kerja (ditandatangi Manager HRD) dan slip gaji, yang menyakinkan pihak embassy bahwa kita punya pekerjaan disini, ga akan cari pekerjaan disana, dan pasti pulang lagi. Kalau soal tabungan menurut saya bukan kuantitas juga sih pertimbangan utamanya. Soalnya pihak embassynya juga ga ada bilang minimal tabungan. Yang penting, secara logis uang kita cukup untuk akomodasi disana. Misalkan saya berlibur selama seminggu, dikira-kira aja, seminggu disana buat makan, transport, dsb nya berapa (plus buat biaya tiket pulang dan hotel, kalau yang belum booking). Dan yang terpenting, uang yang masuk ke rekening kita itu stabil dan jelas aliran dananya, serta mengendap. Ga yang masuk dalam jumlah besar tiba-tiba.

Gitu sih, intinya ga sesulit itu kok. Kalau memang mau pergi ke Australia, sikat aja! Ga perlu panik. Asal kita udah siap semua persyaratan, harusnya sih lancar!.
Next saya ceritakan pengalaman saya jejalan di Negara Kangguru ya!
Endes deh pokoknya.