Those fond memories that can cause the blood rushed into my head

Yesterday, two of my girlfriends asked me to go to Japan again.

Thinking about visiting Japan again, it's like there is blood rush into my head.
I always (literally and figuratively) feel warm when I'm thinking about Japan. There are so many fond memories about that place.

It's a place when my bf came for me. Where I can feel that he genuinely cares and misses me, then he comes to meet me.

Fushimi Inari, Kyoto, Japan

It's a place where I feel proud of myself, my work achievement. When I can show off, about my works, my knowledge.

A place where I found many new Japanese friends. People that until today still keeping in touch with me.

And the most important thing, a first place that make me can say, I'm alone but not lonely.
I'm always being so spoiled. You can ask my bf. He mentioned it regularly. He will said that I look like a kitty. Always want to be spoiled. I do not want him to be far, it makes me feel lonely.
But in Japan, all of that loneliness that I constantly feel in Indonesia, can disappear by time.
I can really breathe. I can feel my self, top to toe. Be aware one hundred percent. Every corners in Japan makes me feel excited. And I do not have any problem to go travelling across Japan only by myself.

You know, my bf even said that in Japan, I gave less complaints. I looked happier and more brave than before.
My boss said that after back from Japan, my confidence level increases.

Then when my girlfriends asked me to go to Japan again, I feel the blood rushed into my head.

But, can I go back to Japan (not for working anymore, but for leisure) while I just went there in October last year.

There's this feeling, that rushed feeling encourage me to say yes, I want to go again!

But then, this logic feeling (also my bf said the same thing), that it's very impulsive and a bit reckless to go abroad for vacation to the same countries when you just went there 4 months ago. It takes a lot of money to go abroad.

So I informed my friends that I cannot go this year.

So I informed my bf that the decision makes me feel sad. I do really want to go.

He said, someday we will back again. We will. Walk all of those fond and warm memories in my heart. Go to see Fuji-san again. Go to Hatagaya again to see my old apartment. Go to Kamakura again. We will.

Kyoto, Japan